Frequently attempted defenses

Better than the middle of the walkway, and still not curbing. A tree pit is a planting bed that somebody weeds by hand, and nitrogen in urine is what kills what is growing in it — not acidity, which is the version most people have heard.^[8]

Curbing has a destination. It is about four feet further on.

Everything on a sidewalk is already outside. “Outside” has never been the standard.

A grate is a ventilation opening and an access hatch. Con Edison’s specification for the ones over its vaults says they “provide ventilation for the transformer as well as a means of entry for Con Edison personnel to maintain, remove, or install equipment.”^[9] It goes down, and then a person climbs through it.

The rule addresses the animal’s position rather than yours. § 161.03 names “a fence, wall or stairway of a building abutting on a public place.”^[1]

Your own excellent placement is noted and does not transfer.

No. A hydrant stands on the sidewalk, which is the surface you are trying to avoid, and it is handled by hand by people who are having a much worse day than you are.

There is also a harder reason. On a wet night, metal at street level is the last thing you want a dog in contact with — contact voltage from deteriorated underground cables can energize hydrant bases, lampposts and grates.^[10]

Duration is not an element. The Health Code defines animal nuisances to include urine and does not attach a stopwatch to it.^[2]

Yes.

The wording is “shall not permit,” which contemplates precisely the owner who was looking at their phone.^[1]

That is step two, and you are doing it, and it is genuinely the harder of the two in every respect except one: you have to remember the bag.

Step one costs nothing and requires no equipment. It is simply where, and it happens thirty seconds before the part you are already doing.

Almost certainly not, in your case. Very little of this is enforced, and the record on the pickup law — the one people have heard of — is not impressive either.

The argument here has never been that you will be fined. It is that the rule exists, says what it says, and describes something you can do at no cost while already outdoors.

Yes. That is more or less the position.

A city is a very large number of small things done by a very large number of people, most of whom will never meet. This is one of the cheapest of them.